so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
