Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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