Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
