jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
