Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
BRING THE BAGELS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
