Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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