We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
