We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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