he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
