At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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