I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
