as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
