my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
