I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so let's talk penis.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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