Im at strip club and am horny
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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