Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
