Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
