There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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