Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
