what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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