I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
