I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
