honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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