your thong is hanging out like whoa
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
