what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
