Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
