You surviving the open bar?
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my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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