nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
