My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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