kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
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