She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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