Your tits are I can't wait for
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
