Its about making memories worth repressing
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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