no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
