I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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