And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
God, I missed his penis.
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