He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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