Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
