my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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