dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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