she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
