im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
