what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
