Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
