ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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