You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
