Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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