Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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