She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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