haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize