We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
