i just google imaged poop.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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