I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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