The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
