She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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