White coat. Heels.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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