For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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