Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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