you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
