He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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