Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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