I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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