is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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