it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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