Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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